Being a Liar Is So Much Better

15 May

I come to you readers very depressed, so depressed that I’m not even sure how I am mentally capable of writing right now.  Recently I haven’t been able to sleep properly and I’ve been eating nothing but soft food because I’m having a hard time holding down anything solid. I can’t believe I was so happy a few days ago and now my world is in a tailspin because of a lie I have been living.  I wish I had a scapegoat for this, but the truth is I have no one to blame but myself.  I am not at liberty to discuss the “lie” I’ve been withholding at the moment, but I can tell you that this is a life-altering, conscious decision I have decided to make.  I hope my family and friends forgive me and still accept me for my true self.  I do plan on revealing my “problem” in later posts.

Now since I’m in the truthful mood I’ve decided to dedicate the next few posts to the theme “Truths My Mother Never Told Me But I Discovered Them On My Own”.  In these posts I will expose everything that has happened to me this semester.  Stay tuned.

By the way…

If any of y’all have any suggestions on how I should get over my issue please send them my way.  I’ve been watching  Chriselle Lim’s color therapy YouTube video lately hoping that it may help me with my sadness.  Her video discusses how the color of your clothes can improve your mood.  I’m not sure this works Chrissy because at the moment I’m wearing a bright pink t-shirt and I still want to stuff myself with brownies and hide under the covers, but I’m willing to watch your video again.  Maybe there is something I’m missing…

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I’m Back Playas! :)

8 May

 

 

Nutella got me through some rough patches this semester. I love thee Nutella.

I’M BAAAACCCCCK!

To Blog: I’m so sorry my baby blog for leaving you alone for so long.  Never again will I abandon you *squeezes tight*.

To My Readers: Hi guys :) I am sorry for my lack of attention to this blog, but my life has taken some weird turns in the present.  This past semester has been extremely interesting and busy, hence why I’ve been away.  It sucks that I haven’t been writing regularly, but at least the break has allowed me to experience some… funny moments, so I can write better stories for you guys.  I just finished finals so I may not be back to regularly posting right away, but here is a story from this past semester that will wet your appetite for more.

 

Fall 2011

Tales From the Lame Rave

I think this may have been one of the worst nights at college ever for me.  It’s at least ranked in the top 10 most lamest moments of my life. Okay, so let me get to what actually happened:

Saturday mornings I usually go out in ministry and do preaching work in my community, but today the sky decided to drown my small college town with rain so ministry work was canceled.  Of course my ministry group didn’t make me aware of their cancellation plans until it was too late, and so I got up at 6 in the morning, on a rainy Saturday morning, just to be told to go right back to bed :( .  Well after putting on my pajamas again and muttering to myself the importance of letting people know , especially me , when not to get dressed on a rainy Saturday morning, I fell asleep, agitated, for three hours.  After my gigantic nap I decided to care about my academics and do my homework; to be completely honest I had nothing else to do.

After I completed my homework (I completed it around 6) I decided to surf my university’s website for on-campus activities happening later that night.  It turned out that my school was hosting a “silent rave”.  A “silent rave” is basically a rave where people listen to the DJ’s selections through these special headphones that lets you choose what you want to groove to; you don’t have to be stuck dancing to a song you don’t like because you can just switch to another station you like.  Convenient right? At least that’s how the flashy ad of independent party girls made it appear as, but I was still game  for this party.  I was having a rocky relationship with my best friend at the moment, and I needed to have fun without her to prove to myself that I could make myself happy without others’ attention.  With that personal endeavor in mind, I made it a point to make that night the best night I ever had out by myself.  I spent two hours gussying myself up, even wore darn heels, for this party that was suppose to build my self-esteem up, but my plans went terribly wrong.  When I finally did arrive to the rave looking like Jessica Rabbit I was saddened by what I saw.  The dance-floor was empty with the exception of a few rhythmically-challenged nerds.  I checked my cell phone.  It was only 9:30 and the rave ended at midnight, so I naively thought that the party just needed some warming up to do before it got exciting.  Two hours later the geeks were still skating on the ice-cold dance floor.  I retired to the room with the refreshments.  Steaming pans of hot wings, spinach dip, and mozzarella sticks stared back at me pathetically.  I ate my feelings that night and washed them down with angry, acidic Sprite; it was an ugly sight.  After I stuffed myself with as much as I could, I left the party stomach bloated and crying.  To put the cherry on the cake while I waited for the bus, it began to rain.  So there I was: fat, lonely, and crying.  Is this what my junior year was meant to be?

…

Of course my life hasn’t stayed this melodramatic so stay tuned for the Kandisky’s junior year adventures at college :)

Image from WeHearIt

 

 

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It’s 80 Degrees in VA and It’s a Blogging Kind Of Day!

23 Mar

Hi guys! I know I’ve been gone for forever, but life has been really crazy; a good crazy but nonetheless crazy.   I’ve return to have some real talk with my readers, if I still have any readers, because I’ve been enlightened and motivated to tell others about the life lessons I have begun to uncover at college. I’ve been taking time out to swallow down this difficult thing we call life, and really embrace it for what it is.  I know I write a lot about handling the stresses of life, but I learn new things about our universe every day that just astound me.  Like for instance, I don’t know if it is because a lot of my friends are graduating or I’m turning twenty-one any day now (two days to be exact), but lately I’ve been comparing my current life to my past high school life and it’s scary to realize how immature I was way back then.   There were so many things I was confused about.  As an example let’s talk about how 16 year-old Kandice thought about relationships: familial, friendships, romantic-all types of connections.  It’s funny how I remember how desperately I wanted to force relationships with people who are now meaningless, but the people I barely noticed have now become the most important thing(s) in my life.  Where was my head?  I also reminisce about the times when I wanted to be a chef, poet, and nurse all at the same time; I thought I could do it all.  What was I thinking?  I can barely finish my homework nowadays, and FYI being and English major sucks!  Okay, it’s not completely horrible, but I feel like my creative spirit is being ripped away from me with each college course I take.  Fellow English majors will understand what I’m talking about.  I don’t read anymore for enjoyment which kills me.  I remember when I was a kid I would stay up all night reading books and then the following day head back to the library for more.  Now I only read when I have to turn in essays. I can’t control this analytical monster that has decided to settle in my brain; it’s been nesting there for the past three years.

Or how about we discuss how 16 year-old Kandice thought about womanhood?  “If only I can find my prince charming to take away every fear including my period cramps I will be happy!” states the naïve and hormonal teen.   I JUST HAD THE BIGGEST ROFL OF MY LIFE!  What type of drugs was I on back then… oh right, puberty, but I definitely think differently now.  I’m starting to love myself and my femininity, and I don’t care if anyone of the male species will ever love me because I will learn to love myself first and only give my love to the worthy, whoever that may be.  Ah, those were fun times in adolescent high, but thank goodness I’m starting to develop maturity and clarity at a university level.

A random transition, but nonetheless relative, I have an announcement to make: I want to become a slam poet (among other things). I’ve become enamored with slam poetry.  I think slam poets are awesome and I’m secretly on a mission to become one along with becoming a K-Pop enthusiast as well. No, I haven’t given up on that dream yet either it just has taken a seat on the back burner.  In fact everything fun in my life including this blog I have had to take a break from because school and my social life have stolen any free time I once had.  But just because my opportunities to blog are disappearing doesn’t mean I’m giving up on this blog.  I promise I will try to make a harder effort to write more. I just have to adopt Obama’s attitude of “Yes I Can!”  Sorry if my writing seems erratic, but it has been that kind of semester.   I’m having a hard time keeping up with my life, but in a way I guess that was the goal I wanted this blog to help me reach in the first place. Right? Anyway, keep your eyes open for fresh posts and I frequently update my tumblr so if you want to check out some cool/funny/quizzical pictures on a daily basis tumble me  :)

 

 

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Update on The Undergrad

27 Jan

So I’m back at school, back to the same ol’ same ol’, although I’m determined to change that.  An update of my life:

1.My bathroom buddy graduated so I have the bathroom all to myself.

I’m kind of siked about this part because now I can prance around the br naked without having the fear that someone is going to come in and see my “beaver”(coined by Tori Spelling), but still my townhouse feels so lonely now.  Who will drunkenly stagger into my room uninvited and spill ramen on my floor now (smh)?  Jokes aside she was a really nice girl and I wished I could have spent at least one more semester with her before she left.

2. My hair!

 

I bleached the ends of my hair to a lighter brown (sometimes in pictures it comes off as orange, but I’m happy with it), and had my bangs cut into a fringe.  I feel so very chic :)

3. Classes

For the first time in my academic career I’m taking all English classes.  This is different for me because for most of my time at this school I’ve tried everything to avoid the English department, although I’m an English major.  It’s not that I don’t like English, I wouldn’t be majoring in it if I didn’t, but I miss my “escape” classes where I learned things that were totally out of my field.  I’m happy with my classes though so no complaints.

4.  I’m in a relationship

with my pillow…and bed :/ Don’t cry for me because I’m totally happy and satisfied in this relationship lol :)

That’s pretty much all that’s been happening.  I think more than ever this semester I’m going to try to be more social and open to others because (is it cheesy and immature to say this?) I get really lonely and sad at times. Well *wipe,wipe* enough of the tears.  Today’s a new day and it’s going to be a great one :)

NSLP (Non-Sexual Life Partner)? Is This For Real?

21 Jan

I became interested in this topic after reading an article about it on HelloGiggles.com.  Apparently a new orientation of the non-sexual kind has been born.  Individuals in friendships that have grown into a more intimate relationship than normal friend-relationships (?) are now labeling their best friends as their non-sexual life partners.

My take on this new phenomenon:

I think it’s really creepy, and if I had a friend who ever called me this I would fear for my virginity.  I mean in a sense it’s really sweet.  A person is essentially saying “hey I think you are one of the most important people in my life and I want to be with you forever”, but why the awkward label? I feel like this is a “whoever-smelt-it dealt-it” scenario going on; somebody is not telling the truth about their true feelings.  Why would I have to say that our relationship is non-sexual if I never thought about us having a sexual relationship?  I feel like if this  is being used in a friendship the friends are denying that there is something more between them.  People of 2012 lets just keep it simple and stick with our typical best friend relationships, and if something more has developed in a friendship be truthful about it and tell your friend before things get sticky and problematic.

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Day 09 Blog Myself to Death for 30 Days (or something close to that)

21 Jan

Yes I’m still going to try to complete this challenge even though I have completed failed at staying consistent with this for thirty days, but what can I say?  Life has been a crap sandwich lately and I don’t know what’s being shoved down my throat at the moment, but all I know is that I have to eat it; that’s life.  Anywho, today’s challenge question is:

Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Um… this is a really hard question to answer because truthfully, even though I believe my life sucks, I don’t think I would trade lives with anyone.  I mean sure I would want to be as smart as Albert Einstein, as rich as Donald Trump, as beautiful as old Hollywood stars, but they have problems just like me.  If there happens to exist a stress-free , smart, rich, and beautiful human being on this earth then of course I would trade lives with them, but we all know there is no such person unless you count Barbie and even she’s not perfect because her body is not anatomically correct. I may not have the perfect life, that I am fully aware of, but just as “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” I believe problems are the same.  Everyone is stressed in their own way and I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m becoming comfortable dealing with my own problems and shortcomings; I don’t think I would want to take on new ones.  Besides, there are people in my life I would miss very much If I suddenly decided to possess the body of Queen Elizabeth or somebody.

Image from WeHearIt

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Diamond Diving: Tips on How To Become Your Own Search Engine

6 Jan

Over the course of my time owning this blog I have gained a talent at finding interesting jewels online.  I have found so many amazing blogs, pictures, and videos from hours (*sigh) and hours of playing around on the internet. After about a couple of months of what seems like mindless internet browsing I’ve discovered that I have a system I usually follow that leads me to these treasures, and wanted to share my method with you all.  Maybe you are interested in finding out how to have even more fun on the web too and would like to know how I do it.  Well:

  1. Blogging to death:  I read so many blogs it’s scary to know how involved I am in these cyber-celebrities lives.  Becoming a loyal blog-reader of blogs that inspire you is a gateway to a boat-load of visual goodies.  Interesting people have interesting things to say, and probably will refer you to other interesting people, places, and things.  Follow the chain of awesomeness.
  2. Follow the links:  Links are like footprints of something greater.  If you trust a blogger’s opinion and style and they post a link cure your curiosity and check out the link.  You will be pleasantly surprised at what you find, and how quickly and easy it is to form a new obsession.  This tip also applies to twitter so invest time in checking things your fav blogging icons or celebrities are tweeting on a daily basis.
  3. Skeletons in the closet:  Now a days everyone wants fame and is willing to go to any lengths to get it.  Positively speaking, most cyber-celebrities are not just successful at one thing which means their creativity is somewhere else on the internet.  If they have an incredible tumblr page chances are they have an irresistible flickr page.  If they have an amazing blog they probably have an equally fantastic YouTube channel.  Today people don’t publish in one place anymore; they want to get recognition in as many ways as possible which gives you more opportunities to enjoy their work.
  4. Google Me- Sometimes for fun I just plug in a word into Google Images and wait and see what comes up (PG of course ^^).  If I find a picture I like I search to see who posted the photo.  7 out of 10 times I like the other things the person has posted, and before you know it I have a new, daily blog read.
  5. Comment Creeper:  Trolls are not always evil; sometimes they are just people desperate for followers for their blog or other web endeavors.  Those annoying, pesky people who conveniently come to visit your blog only to leave a comment with a link to their page do sometimes have stuff worthwhile seeing.  You should check them out even if it’s kind of pacifying their bad-blogger behavior.

I hope these steps were helpful to you.  Have a great weekend and happy hunting :) !

Image from www.wehearit.com

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